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Swinging safer than Monogamy

Thursday, Sept. 23, 2004, at 8:55 a.m.

This article was sent to me, it was interesting, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Swinging safer than Monogamy

Source: Sex Herald


Walk into any swinger community event and the first thing you'll notice is that most couples look very comfortable with each other. They have likely been together for some time and they generally understand each other's needs and desires. Also dubbed `play couples,' swingers generally practice recreational sex with other couples for variety, social life, and increased attraction within their own relationship.

Although some find it surprising, HIV hasn't exploded in the swinger community like it has in the gay community. Admittedly, there are play couples who are not so careful about safer sex or building relationships prior to sex. At swinger events people often swap partners without giving a lot of thought to who they'll be having sex with. Many swingers also participate in small
orgies, in which safer penile-vaginal sex is frequently optional, and protected oral sex can be non-existent. Yet since 1986 there has been only one reported case of HIV infection in the swinger community; it was found in two females who were having repeated anal
intercourse with bisexual males.

Demographically, those living in what is commonly termed `the lifestyle' consist of middle to upper class, college educated people who live what are considered non-deviant lives. They read the New York Times at breakfast. They drive their children to elementary
school. They teach elementary school. They eat dinner out once a week. For them, sex on weekends is more than twenty minutes in missionary. But what they are not doing is dying from AIDS, leaving behind softball-playing twelve-year olds and three-bedroom
townhouses. So why hasn't HIV infection become a larger issue in this community?

Perhaps one reason is lack of intravenous drugs in the lifestyle. IV
drugs, which have been known as a primary way of spreading HIV since the virus was discovered, are generally looked down on by the swinger community. Many couples are married, hold down professional jobs, have some assets; maybe a child or two. Their lifestyles
aren't typical of hard drug users.

And what about the amount of heterosexual males? Naturally, you'll
find bisexual males in the community, but due to mostly social reasons, they are not welcomed like bisexual females are. Some suggest that if female swingers were to express desire for male-male contact, the amount of male bisexuality would increase, but for
right now, they make up a low percentage. And since bisexual and gay
males have statistically carried an extremely high risk of HIV, their absence in the swinger population may account for some avoidance of the disease.

Honest sexual history is another possibility. When used in stable relationships, swinging can prevent lying. Together, the combination of lying and multiple partner sex has been found to spread HIV faster than multiple partner sex by itself. People fearing the HIV and AIDS stigma have been known to downplay their both sexual history and their risk groups. The premise behind swinging is an `open' style relationship which eliminates the need to lie and thus reduces the risk of disease.

Moreover, not all couples in the swinging lifestyle have non-
discretional sex. Play couples often maintain both social and sexual
relationships with other couples. They routinely cite swinging as a social behavior, with sex as just part of the lifestyle.

Some couples insist on getting to know another couple in social settings before sleeping with them. Others have regular couples they see. They maintain that the practice of swinging with couples whose
STD status is common knowledge, has a lower risk of HIV infection than certain lifestyles as a sexually active single do.

Likewise, not all couples have unprotected sex. A recent study suggests that a massive sixty-two percent of people in the lifestyle began practicing safer sex after it became clear that HIV was spreading through unprotected sex.

There are also couples who find less risky ways to be a part of the swinging lifestyle. About ten percent of the swinging population will admit to attending functions solely to socialize. They find satisfaction just through experiencing the atmosphere. Others prefer the low risk soft-swap, or the changing of partners only for heavy
petting. Soft swingers return to their original partners for actual intercourse. And a number of lifestyle couples sustain fluid-monogamous relationships as a safer sex practice, an arrangement between a couple where neither are allowed to share bodily fluid with people besides each other.

Will more and more couples heed HIV warnings and take up safer sex practices? Or will the amount of male bisexuality increase as females express fantasies of playing with bisexual men? One thing right now is clear: this community has been doing something right. Because whether it's due to openness in swinger relationships, male
heterosexuality, or just plain safer sex, play couples are still softball parents and elementary school teachers, and they're not going anywhere.

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